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June 22, 1999
Being Poked and Prodded

I had two doctors appointments today and neither one of them was very fun. If you are a female you understand because I had to go to the gynecologist early this morning. My mom told me to write about a few funny incidents that happened, but I am not sure they are appropriate. I will tell the stories anyway, but don’t blame me! For the guys reading this who don’t understand why the gynecologist is so embarrassing, the nurse gives you a little white sheet and tells you to undress and then cover yourself up with it. As I was sitting in the examination room waiting for the doctor I was trying to keep the sheet covering as much of my body as possible. When the doctor walked in he insisted on shaking my hand! I had to readjust so I had one hand free and I didn’t lose the sheet completely. It was really awkward. Then the doctor was talking conversationally with me during the examination. He is a family friend and I know his children, but I was very uncomfortable talking about them at that moment. I guess the doctor wants you to feel more at ease, but this just made me more self-conscious. Anyway, that was my trip to the “woman’s doctor.”

I went to the dermatologist later in the afternoon with my mom. Since I am only 20 years old and I look even younger, sometimes I have a hard time getting doctors to listen to me. This happened today with my new dermatologist. He seemed to wrap up the appointment before I was done asking questions and anything I suggested he shrugged off with little consideration. Maybe I am a female and maybe I am young, but I know what my problems are and I would like a doctor to listen to what I have to say for once! Having my mom there gave me another person who could tell the dermatologist what my problems are. He listened to her more than to me, but if I had been a male I think it would have been better.

Last night I called Kathe after I read her latest My So-Called Existence (MSCE) entry on her webpage. It worried me because she wrote that she was going to give up posting entries due to lack of outside interest. I check every few days to see if she has written anything new and I was bother when she wrote that now one outside her immediate family would notice if she dropped off the face of the Earth. I certainly would notice! I called her last night and we talked for about an hour, even though I woke her up. It sounded like she was in a good mood, but that might have been the black cherry wine cooler doing the talking! (I have to try one of those things since she says they are so good.) Kathe said that she was a little depressed and that she has been busy with work and not much else. We have been sending each other ICQ message for a few weeks talking about what crazy things we were going to do when I got back to Tallahassee. Now that time has come and we need to make some plans. When I talked to Meghan she was excited about going to St. George Island one weekend. All three of us are pale and desperately need a little sun (with 30+ sunblock, mind you). Meghan and I discussed that we need new bathing suits before then! Speaking of shopping, Kathe and I also plan to go shopping for “club attire” sometime soon. Even if I wanted to go to a club I wouldn’t have anything to wear! We will have to remedy that.

Also when I was talking to Kathe we discussed my situation with Stuart. First of all, I should mention that Kathe is dying to meet Stu. Then I will tell you that Kathe gave me a new perspective on what has been happening over the last few days in my life. Kathe’s opinion is that Stu is a “nice guy” (sorry if that sounds like a cliché, but I am taking it out of context for the sake of the quote) that was just trying to do the right thing. I agree with her. It was interesting to get the viewpoint of a girl who thinks she is more like a guy than of her own gender. (That’s her proclamation, by the way.) With everyday that passes I become happier with being home for awhile. If I can use this time to sort out my own emotions then it will be well spent. Come to think of it, if I can find some time to sort out my bedroom the time will be well spent! So far I haven’t had a moment to sit down and relax. This isn’t exactly a good thing.